A Hot Day in the Swamp

Tuesday, June 19 was a hot, sunny day, and the low tide was around 9:30 AM. I hadn’t been out in the swamp in weeks, so I took the morning off and ventured out on the creek.

The tide was pretty low when I arrived, but it was still going out. I had just enough water to get my boat to one of my favorite spots without having to drag it. Getting back out wouldn’t be as easy. I wanted to do something extreme, so I stopped at a spot where there is a submerged pipe, or something. It is very straight and about 6-10 cm in diameter. It runs horizontally about a meter below the surface. Whatever it is, it is strong, and it will not budge.

Once I found the buried beam, I tied a rope around my genitals and pushed the free end down and under the buried shaft. I bound my ankles together with a belt and attached a rope that I pulled through an anchor point on the front of my kayak, which was out in front of me. I pulled myself deep into the mud and tied myself down to the anchor point, using the rope attached to my genitals. At this point, my head was just above the surface and I was being held down by my tender bits. My ankles were tied out in front of me, and I only had to pull on the free end of the rope that ran from my ankles to my kayak to pull my ankles higher, forcing my upper body backwards and my head deeper into the mud, while putting more strain on the rope holding me down.

I hauled my ankles up high enough that I had to struggle to breathe. I honestly wasn’t sure if I’d be able to free myself, so I struggled for a while, then set about the tricky task of untying some very inconveniently placed knots, while holding my breath. I wish there was a way to capture the details of this sort of scene on camera, but all the camera would see would be my face. (None of the images or the video posted here include what I just described.)

Anyway, I did record a video blog, of sorts, on my GoPro. I had to keep it short, to post it here. I hope you find it interesting.